Things I Wish I'd Known Then

Dear You:

I don't really know how to start this. It's kind of weird, to be honest, writing to you, who is myself in a past form. But I guess this letter is to let you know things I wish I'd known back then, which is now for you.

Things are going to get hard. You don't really like school, and you take after your father in that aspect. You take after your father in a lot of ways, actually. You're tall like him, compassionate like him; quiet and artistic and you have his feet and nose. But he's got some things to work out. And please realize this when you get further along the road. He has reasons for what he will do, and you need to remember to accept that and adapt.

And you do. You become the rock in the family. You become the one who works hard. You become the one who fixes things, whether it's a lightbulb or that damned dishwasher. You become the one who says 'Everything will be alright' when your mother is giving up on life. You're the one who cleans up after other people. And that's good. It's good for the time being. It's what the family needs.

You are much like your mother as well. You have her brown hair, chocolate eyes, fiery temper. You can even forge her signature, which will come in handy for sure. Just remember to keep the lid on that temper. You've seen what it does.

You're going to lose your sense of direction. Hell, I'm still trying to figure out where we're going from here. But I think that's just it: it's not meant to be figured out. It's not meant to be planned. Because who can tell the future? Tell me who, and point me in their direction, because I'd like to know. I think we're just supposed to live life one day at a time. And as cliché as that sounds, it's true.

You're going to lose things and gain others. You're going to make friends you wish loved you as much as you love them, and friends who wish you loved them as much as they love you. You're going to cry and become depressed and lock the world out and swallow the key. And you do that when you're depressed. I've been there. You just shut the world out and don't let a single person in. You need to stop doing that. Please.

There will be a time where you hate who you are. Your weight, your looks, your style, your lack of a job and a car... and sometimes how you act. Just remember that your eyes are not the world's eyes, and that's a damn good thing, don't you agree? You should focus on the good things, like how you don't like to rush things, and you're thoughtful and you're strong and creative and beautiful, inside and out. Please try not to pay attention to how society pins labels on what's good and what's bad. Fuck the world. Live for you.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Come at the world with an open mind, open ears, open eyes, and an open heart. People will love you for who you really are. You mean more to people than you think you do. Believe me. That's a fact.

And most importantly: You'll turn out fine. Just fine.

Love,
You.